Challa

Once upon a time, I reviewed Indian movies on my blog. Oh my god was I clueless about Hindi cinema. But I guess you gotta start somewhere. I have unpublished many of these blogs, due to some technical issues. but I was reminded of my Jab Tak Hai Jaan review recently.

I have always loved the song Challa from that film. It’s one of my favorites from my time in India. The song is based on a Punjabi folk song with many different versions over the years.

Not sure why I love this song so much. Maybe it’s because it’s about a guy who roams the earth seeking his home. Many Yash Raj films explore that tension between home and homeland. Of course, at the time, I was outside my homeland, and yet also felt very much at home. The “home” in this song is understood to be a woman, played by Katrina Kaif. The collaboration between Gulzar’s lyrics and AR Rahman’s music captures a perfect vibe for the SRK character’s NRI life. It’s romantic and sad but also a bop.

I love the opening lines:

Punjabi lyrics:

Challa ki labh da phire, Challa ki labh da phire
Yaaron oda ghar keda? lokan ton puchda phire

English translation:

Wanderer, mad with love, What do you search for?
Asking people far and wide, Where the one does reside?

Read more: https://www.lyricsmint.com/jab-tak-hai-jaan/challa-english-translation

My wanderings

My friend Ketan once said I am an American with an Indian soul. I don’t know if that’s right, but songs like this one make me feel that soul leans in the Punjabi direction.

It’s been a decade since Jab Tak Hai Jaan appeared in theaters. I’ve been in Philly for more than half that time. I just marked 7 years in Philly—the longest I’ve lived anywhere.

And yet there’s a tug I feel for India, a place that’s not quite my own to which I somehow still belong. Some might say it’s nostalgia; that I miss the privileged life I once enjoyed there.

But I’ve never been nostalgic, and I know that life is long gone. Being a trailing spouse looks very glamorous from the outside, but being defined primarily by my relationship to my now ex-husband was soul destroying.

That’s why I started blogging in Mumbai—to create something that belonged to me, and only me. Writing gave me a sense of belonging, connecting me with writers from around India and eventually the world. I built lasting friendships through my posts about books, food, politics, and film.

Perhaps that’s why I am returning to these pages once more. In 2012, I had a clear story to tell: my experience moving from Magnolia, Texas to Mumbai, India and beyond.

I am a wanderer like in the song. I’ve lived in many places (around 20 at last count). In some ways, India was just another stop on my journey. And yet it clearly was something more.

I miss traveling. Travel has become almost impossible for me now because of the pandemic that still rages. I grieve that part of my old life most deeply. Broken connections with friends and family add another painful layer of loss.

As I look back on my blogs so that I can work out the technical issues and republish them, I will share some of my favorites.

As I prepare to tell the story that brought me back to writing again…